my homescreen feels so lonely without you

God I miss tumblr. I have these itches to post but no, I said I was going on a social media blackout (with the exception of WordPress thank goodness) until I find a job or it’s the new year. I give in though sometimes to look at my dashboard and I keep on hearting things. It’s a habit I never want to kick. Wait yes I do, I get addicted to things easily and I would sit for hours just hearting, replying, and reblogging.

Felt so good though haha.

Plus I discover my favorite books there like The Lover’s Dictionary by David Levithan. which I found through Donald Glover’s tumblr. And I remember seeing cool exhibits like New Museum’s three story slide on my dash as well. So many authors and poets I found like Lang Leav, Adam Gnade, Nick Miller,  and Tyler Knott Gregson. I even found two awesome classes like Megan Falley‘s Poetry of New York Camp and PAWA’s Pinay Literature and Creative Writing Online Workshop that I took. SO recommend.

There’s just so many things to love about it. But then there’s the heart wrenching, infuriating posts I come across. They enlighten you and show you your privilege. That’s actually the place where I found out about privilege and more information about feminism, racism, and white supremacy. So many videos to laugh at like Peppa Pig. It’s like this amazing cauldron of wtf, omg, and me gusta. I HEART IT.

Withdrawal blows but at least I have this trusty blog right now. Originally I never wanted to get this personal. It was supposed to be documenting my creative endeavors. Sure my sketchbook for my soulmate is pretty intimate but I never intended to write entries solely on the guys in my life. Now they’re the majority of my posts I believe, or at least the most recent ones. Not sure if this is good or bad but it’ll stay until I conclude otherwise.

Sometimes I wonder if Bossy Bear or Fattie read this. Most likely not since I never told them this WordPress exists. And I think I’ll keep them out of the know. Sometimes, some feelings are not meant to be mentioned. Besides, one has a girlfriend and the other is thousands of miles away. What good would it do to share this? I never want to be a home wrecker and the other is still depressed over his ex (plus there’s NINE girls in the running for his heart possibly penis, holy fucking shit I do not stand a chance even if I was in Cali).

It’s better if I just focus on myself… and keep an eye out for a cutie hehe. I’m actually going to Comic Arts Brooklyn and the Festival of Lights tomorrow. Both are FREE. And I’m so pumped! I hope I don’t go spend crazy at CAB but I’m definitely getting Your Illustrated Guide to Becoming One with the Universe by Yumi Sakugawa for sure. Her comics are good shit. I should really limit myself to a handful of items. I’m still jobless so I have to be careful. Plus my room is loaded with all these unread zines and books.

I’ve been a bad bad girl lolol.

(NOTE: I wrote this entry 19 hours ago and just came back from both festivals. Sorry I didn’t let you guys know earlier. CAB was pretty cool and I spent maybe too much money on books but they’re all signed and I got this adorable bag. Sweet. Festival of lights was a bust though, it got cancelled just when me and my bro arrived. Too many people, ugh. I feel so bad since the whole reason why we went to Brooklyn was for that fest. Damn.)

I’m supposed to go to the gym with my bro right now, even though it’s 4:23 am. Looks like I’m not going. SCORE. I refuse to wake him up. It’s too cold and I’m too lazy but I’m wearing my gym clothes just in case he does wake up. Yup.

(NOTE: I ended up going around 5 and didn’t sweat which is no good for my weight loss. At least I’m being active, that’s a step up from the jackshit I did before lol)

ALSO. I came across this awesome looking game that I can play on my Kindle Fire! It’s called Steve Jackson’s Sorcery! and it’s a four part game with only the first two chapters out. It’s an epic magical adventure and you read it like an interactive story and there’s like thousands of choices you can make and it will rewrite the story once you made a decision. SO COOL.

In fact inkle studios is a pretty cool looking game developer, focusing on interactive stories. I love it. It’d be so neat to work and write for them. I’m sure I’d love it.

But until then, I can try my hand at writing a choose your own adventure story through their inklewriter website. It looks really easy to use and I can’t wait to think of one to write! You can even convert it to kindle and sell it. Too awesome. I’m definitely putting in my bucket list to complete an interactive story, I’ll just use the back haha.

…19 hours later…

Speaking of bucket list, I have yet to start my NaNoWriMo for this year and it’s already the 9th. I better type up something. I have this inkling of a guy who romanticizes like most if not all things but he doesn’t want to try things out for fear of ruining his ideal. And then he comes across a girl who shows him that the real thing is so much better. I’m worried that she’ll become a manic pixie dream girl. I want to avoid that and I think reading John green’s Paper Towns and his essay On the destruction of manic pixie dream girls. ( always wanted to read his work.

More to say but I think this entry is long enough.


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