A Sense of Wonder


I took this at Edison train station, on one of the last payphones I see nowadays. The special paper is from a 99 cent notebook bought at Unique thrift shop. I love going there for their cheap books. I just noticed you can call for free for God’s blessing / Daily prayer. I wanna try it and see how corny it is haha. The paper reads:

things I miss but shouldn’t:

x paranoia – I was always right
x throw up – I’d inevitably feel better
x screaming – it felt like relief
x crying – salty catharsis
x hangovers – I survived
x rage – righteousness
x him – he was my brightest future
x apathy – nothing can harm me
x breakdown – I recovered & become stronger
x spills – something to do
x humiliation – I had pride
x her – she wanted me to be okay
x smudges – more personal
x jealousy – mine to protect
x pain – I’m alive
x error – I am human
x delusions – fascinating horror
x voices – I wasn’t alone

him refers to the open me note. her was the last meeting with an old college roommate when I had my second psychosis. Never heard from her again. Still gets me down.  This whole fucking list does.

I’m so glad the next one is more hopeful lol.

One thought on “A Sense of Wonder

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