A Sense of Wonder

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This is “A Monument for the Anxious and Hopeful” by Candy Chang & James A. Reeves. It’s currently on view from February 10-November 11, 2018 at the Rubin Museum of Art. Here’s what it is: “Inspired by Tibetan prayer flags and the anonymity of public spaces, artist Candy Chang and writer James A. Reeves ask Rubin visitors to engage with their community by sharing their anxieties or hopes on a card. At a glance, passersby in our Spiral Lobby will be able to glean the prevailing mood of respondents and, drawing closer, explore hundreds of individual meditations that range from personal, local, and specific statements to political, theoretical, and spiritual reflections.” For years, I’ve always wanted to see Chang’s work in person. She’s my most favorite artist. I finally got to do it in February, here’s an instagram post. I plan on visiting it in June after I turn 30, hopefully day of. And again in the fall before it closes. I want to see if my hopes and anxieties have changed. And I wanna see the current feelings of others. This page is also the point where I decided to get more personal. My card reads:

I’m anxious because another psychotic break might hit me. And I cannot predict when. Nor if I’ll ever recover.

It’s been six years since my last psychosis and I think about this possibility every single day. I don’t think I’ll ever stop honestly. I’m a lot more stable and I’m pretty happy despite some circumstances. I’m scared I’ll lose it all.

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