Day 5
Breathe. Deep inhale, hold for three, and big exhale to feel your stomach fully expand. Repeat five times. Notice what you feel physically, what and whom you share the room with. Witness how your anxieties & fears lessen when your sole focus is on being alive & present. How the shadows & the imaginary eyes of others evaporate when you pay attention to yourself alone. Bask in your light.
Those you believe are scrutinizing you, ridiculing, judging you—are most likely not. In all honesty, they’re probably too worried you’re doing the same to them. So much of my life has been wasted on these phantoms—these anxieties and fears that never came true. I was stuck in the past of my mistakes and bad decisions and in the future of every worst possibility. Not in the present time with my loved ones, reality, and passion projects, where I needed to be.
When you focus on what’s real and in front of you, your phobias melt away. Don’t let your mind drift and spiral. Be actively present with your dear ones who honestly love the real you, not this villain and basturd you wrongly believe you are.
Chances are, there are more people who care about you and believe in you than you allow yourself to see. More folks who want to support your endeavors and your dreams if you just open up. And I’m certain you’re not the only one in your circle who is experiencing such existential dread.
Your anxiety is lying to you. As well as your self-loathing. There is absolutely no need for you to judge yourself so harshly. Let yourself enjoy what’s exactly in front of you. You will get through this. I know you can.
Remember who you are. You provide more light and joy than you see yourself capable. You deserve to love and adore yourself the way your friends and family do. Push away your anxiety and ignore it.
I believe in you.
Eileen Ramos 