Category: mental illness

  • How I Got Here

    Content warning: mentions of psychosis, delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, mental illness, bipolar disorder, hospitalization, depression, self-loathing, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, anxiety, mental illness stigma. I am safe and stable now. This talks about past experiences. Yesterday was World Mental Health Day, and I am here to remind you that I’m a bipolar mental health advocate with…

  • listen to your body and not what you want to embody

    Content Warning: psychosis, delusions, mental health, mental illness, eating disorder, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, toxic, insanity, depression, hospital, bipolar disorder I am safe and stable now, this recollects past experiences along with with my present situation. Image description: From first page of my “Words I Held: An Autobiographical Tale of Intrigue” ushered by Elisabeth Faye…

  • And Into the Darkness, I Shall Follow You

    Reflecting on my Shadow Self through this postcard collage I made for Eleanor Crook’s The Archaeology of the Self course. My psychoses, depression, and weakness I’m putting to the forefront now. It’s been a struggle to recover but I’m glad I’m on the other side.

  • I deserve to be heard

    I’m learning not to give energy to negative events and people, to not speak about them and vent ‘cuz that detracts your attention. To let go and concentrate on myself. BUT this incident is an exception. This is not just someone being rude, but the undermining of neurodiverse voices at the expense of their own…

  • Psychotic Break Monologue

    https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Feileen.ramos.904%2Fvideos%2F10100958822134899%2F&show_text=0&width=560 Here’s a video of me performing “Psychotic Break” taken by Shanet at the Yeah, That’s What She Said Motherland Open Mic awhile back. And this is the original run when I performed the monologue for In Full Color 2017 in February. It just occurred to me that I should share my monologue on this…

  • on an upswing

    2:49 am, September 18th, 2017 I went to Dunkin’ Donuts to cheer myself up. I love going there to write and read but honestly, I barely did either. I pretty much just sat and stared at the window, deep in my feelings and thoughts. The maple pecan large iced latte didn’t do much to lift…

  • Being Mentally Ill with #WalangHiya

    In honor of #WomxnsHistoryMonth2017, I’m collaborating with AnneMarie of Formation of a Filipinx American where I wrote a blog to reclaim the phrase #WalangHiya, which has been traditionally used to shame Filipinxs. Her edits were crucial for me to dive deeper into how shame badly affected my mental health, and how speaking about my mental illness openly allowed…

  • you are beautiful and necessary

    I think I have a problem with accepting compliments. I used to be really bad and think they’re lying and look at them weird and just brush it off. But now at least I can say thank you and smile, because I am genuinely touched that they said such sweet things. Yet, I still don’t…

  • In Full Color 2017, featuring my monologue “Psychotic Break”, starts TONIGHT til Sunday!

    I should’ve been writing about this from the get go when I found out New Year’s Day that I will be part of In Full Color 2017. It’s a Women of Color production where the actresses perform monologues and poetry. Last year, my first monologue ever “Aswang Presidente” was printed in their anthology. From tonight…

  • inner and outer spaces

    2015 bleeding into 2016 and its entirety feels like the year where I was discovering spaces. Like the Asian American Writers’ Workshop where I found a community of fellow uhh AA writers just like me. It was also the year I discovered I was queer. And Gabriela NY which is a Filipina womxn group that…