I have problems old me would have prayed for.
My interactive artwork dual rolodex, Correspondence, will be exhibited at Yonkers Arts' WORDS show, running from February 12th til March 21st. It'll be my longest viewing yet! I first exhibited this at Quantum Intimacies, curated by the incredible artist Michèle Saint-Michel for Millennium Film Workshop in Brooklyn. I loved being part of the show, it was such a highlight of the summer.
Correspondence is a vintage 1950s American Zephyr double rolodex, where you operate a knob on either side and it'll independently rotate each rolodex. Using ephemera and rubbish, I split them in half between a pair of cards. They can be an expired coupon from the 90s, washi tape, dollar store stickers, broken rubber band, etc. Together, I create flash fiction, a list, blackout poetry, etc. which I handwrite usually. Then for the back I print out a typed-out version, sometimes adding tangent thoughts, context, and easter eggs. I paste it upside down so the card can be read without it be taken out.
I wasn't certain if I should submit, but I could not miss on the chance of being part of an exhibition centered around Words. Writing and reading have saved my life over and over and over again. I am thrilled I got accepted but I have so many ideas and additions I want to do. I wanna hit 50 cards each wheel, and experiment--poem comics, diagrams, drawings, use different gel sticks and watercolors, and ways of writing like my vintage label maker. I have til this Saturday to deliver it and it's making me frantic.
I'm not making the cards fast enough though I am enjoying the ones I've made so far. I need to pick up speed, man. I'm so nervous they won't like it at all. Then I want to attend the opening reception next Thursday. But I can get so self-conscious and shy at these parties, nursing my wine. I always regret not talking to the artists more, especially when I admire their works. These artists could be writers, or at least admire the written word. I'd be foolish not to speak up more. It'd be great to connect and learn more about their practice and what motivated them to submit this particular piece.
I'm also nervous 'cuz I never been to Yonkers and I'm traveling quite a way from central Jersey. Hoping to get up early so I can make sure I get there Saturday by 4PM. In addition to the cards, I have to put my signature, the title, and the date somewhere on the piece. Moreover I want to make instructions for the viewer so they're aware of the upside down reading and how it works. Trying not to be too wordy and keep it streamlined so I'll workshop it. I plan on inserting some surprises for the viewer too. I really want the experience to be special, and to inspire folks to write and transform what seems like trash into art.
Other issues I'm stressing over is figuring out if I should submit to Come Rot in My Bedroom at the Accent Sisters. It's due on the 10th and I have a really cool idea that will meld well with their exhibition. Their open call has the best narrative, I love the story so much. I think it's worth shooting for, I'll be working on the submission on the commute home this weekend haha.
Another thing I'm facing is what project I'll be doing for One Good Work hosted by Prospect Heights Art Club. I've been following their IG for at least two years now so I'm excited I can participate finally. Your focus for the next six months, starting in February, is to create one good work. You declare what 1st and 2nd mediums you'll be doing and get sorted into groups, plus a house. It's open to anywhere around the world, but those local to NYC are encouraged to join in their in-person excursions. I chose fiction and objects. All the good works will be shown at a summer art show! Which is so cool.
I won on shop goodwill auction a vintage black metal 4 drawer card catalog. It's been gathering dust for months. I really want to fill it up with index cards and objects and ephemera. Have the drawers and their contents refer and interconnect with each other. It'll be cool to come up with a world. This month's phase is research so I'm looking into things and seeing what sticks. I really want this to work out and I always wanted to display a card catalog for folks to rummage through. And to say it's all from me, these potentially hundreds of cards, would feel absolutely amazing. It might get rid of my imposter syndrome finally haha ugh.
I thrifted Love Cards: What Your Birthday Reveals About You & Your Personal Relationships by Robert Lee Camp at Housing Works. And I brought it to the first Junk Journal Hang & Zine Trade I co-hosted in November and it was a disturbing hit haha. Like they felt really seen and called out. It definitely did that to me. It told me that I spend money like water and that all my difficulties come from my thoughts. TRUE. I definitely believe that. I'm so anxious and I catastrophize constantly. My poor bank account haha.
Another problem, I need to make a flyer for the next Junk Journal Hang & Zine Trade on February 25th, Wednesday at Purgatory bar. I wanna make it soon but need to a good background image. Maybe I'll find a cool art supply for it. I also need to organize and pack but that is weeks away. One happening at a time.
The things I'm stressing over, they aren't bad issues at all. I just want to do well on my own terms. There's other things I should worry about like saving, becoming independent, my health so maybe I'm escaping. I am becoming more confident and I can back away from disaster thinking more easily. I can confront people a lot better as well. It's coming to a point where my therapist thinks we should end things soon which was upsetting 'cuz I really like her and I feel safe with her. But I don't need her as much I used to. I believe in myself a lot more and I have a clearer view of the world and others.
I hope I can manage it all. I hope to make me and my younger selves proud. She'd be so happy that we got accepted into such a cool show. That I'm part of amazing things. That I believe in myself enough to just go for it. I'm happy I get to be me and I love how my mind works. I used to hate it so deeply but I wouldn't trade it for anyone else's.
I'm grateful for where I'm heading. There is so much more I can do, if I just try. More opportunities and people would say yes to me if I just say yes to myself first.
How wonderful is that?