I know I can do this
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Every year I used to write for days leading to my birthday on June 23rd. It's been awhile since I consistently fulfilled my allotted, promised days. But I want to try again. So I'll write daily for 7 days straight and finally write birthday letters to my year older and year younger self. I'm turning 37. This ritual I haven't done in a few years. It helps me keep better track of my growth and to refocus on my goals again. I wanna journal everyday and blog at least a few times a week. I've let my junk journal languish as well as my some lines a day diary. I'll get back on track tonight. I deserve to.
It's been gratifying to be chosen for a streak of great opportunities. Especially shows. My most recent Yes was for Quantum Intimacies, curated by Michèle Saint-Michel, at Millennium Film Workshop in Brooklyn.
They accepted my interactive artwork "Correspondence", a 1950s vintage Zephyr American Dual Rolodex I won at ShopGoodwill.com auction for $12.99, found & won during the running of the open call. Kismet and Quantum Entanglement at work. I've been making rolodex card pairs, involving two people or interconnected ideas. It's such a weird idea, but they love it and I am one of SIX installations. The seventh being a gallery film loop. There's very limited space in the MFW gallery so I feel amazing that I got in.
Though right now I feel anxious because it's not all done yet. I've made 18 pairs so far when I promised 50. And I want to do more with them like poetry comics, diagrams, collages, etc. And to make the black plastic space of the ferris wheel nonexistent. It's being installed on Thursday but I still have time. I can do it and do it well.
There's a reason why I was chose over everybody else that's been declined. If Michèle believes in my project and abilities, so can I! I'm proud that I'm pushing myself to create and to apply and to propose. I trust my creativity and my follow through. I deserve to try and especially be seen.
I want to go to more art exhibit opening receptions I am a part of.
Be in more zine fests and make more zines.
Push myself to submit to more open calls, more publication submissions.
Document my days more.
Fulfill more projects I've been putting off.
Use my PO box more often and write more letters and send packages.
I want to be more present in our world, to partake more. As I've aged, I've realized how worthwhile my voice is. How I deserve to be heard & acknowledged. "Correspondence" is my opportunity to push my creativity and imagination more. To experiment and to try and to be vulnerable. It's my most complex project to date. And it's fun letting the detritus around my desk determine the final result.
I want the pairs to interlink with the others. Listing tender gestures like a forehead kiss and later on you see a forehead kiss occurring. Include some sci-fi and fantasy elements. Make it multi-layered and impactful. I plan on including a typed out text of what the front handwriting reads with easter eggs & thoughts. Pasted upside down for folks to read more easily. If I make 8 pairs each day, I'll hit 50 on Wednesday. Sometimes I feel like I'm too late, even if there is still time left to the deadline.
It's not too late. It's never too late in a lot of ways. I know I can deliver a deeply meaningful experience with "Correspondence". I'll get to talk about my process and my stories on the 19th. Thursday will be wonderful and it will work out because I am deeply passionate and devoted to this. It will mean a lot because I care a lot.
I got this.